Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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