At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
