She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i think i just lost a toe
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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