yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize