Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
