States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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