Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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