Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
why didn't you poke me back
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
