Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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