you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
