He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
