Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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