You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize
