The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
