Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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