it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
