I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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