drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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