you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize