At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize