dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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