I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
