I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
