New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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