Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
