Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
this will be a night to untag.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
