Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize