ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
