well I can't set my house on fire every night
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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