I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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