Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
oh god the rape fog is back!
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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