I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize
