giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
