...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize