I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
