why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
