That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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