I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize