Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
