i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
