Capitaan dildo arrescate!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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