god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
