Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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