like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
