We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
