I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Let's get the cat blown out
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize