do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Randomize
