can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
