afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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