If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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