You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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