The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
