I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Randomize
