i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
