My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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