Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
