Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
