what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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