My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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