So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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