Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
