So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Randomize
