Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i dont even know how to be here
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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