Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
