Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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