Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
