One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
